In my morning devotions I have been reading through a book by Dallas Willard and Jan Johnson called Renovating the Heart in Daily Practice. This morning I was confronted with a big idol that I struggle with in my life and I think most of America deals with.

Let me tell you the story.

Dallas was talking about God being in control (not meticulous I might add - Dallas Willard is far form being a card carrying Reformed or TR) and we do not like to submit because that means that we are not in control. Towards the end of the short daily chapter there are exercises to try and the one for today was The Golden Strands a prayer method of Martin Luther's. Willard was giving an example of him praying one day with the ten commandments - he said he thought he he did not need to pray the first two - he had no statues or idols - but he chose to pray it anyway.
Well he was hiking when he did it and he realized that he had a huge idol in front of him..

I can't believe that fall is here already. It seems like yesterday that we bought this place (No Mistake) and began our work. My wife and I and another couple bought an old plantation home and a little over 100 acres to begin building a retreat/bed and breakfast/ intentional community. We are getting close to being half-way done with the construction. We are building two rental cottages - one that sleeps several (up to 16-20) and one that is smaller as well as the plantation house which is for rent with four bedroom with several in each room. The place has been here for about 170 years. The highlight to me of the construction is the celtic chapel that we are building. It is going to be fine. And we will use it for many things - for our community life, for church and also for weddings and other events (retreats, etc.)

It can be taxing and trying at times. We have two young children - one being a little over 1 ( I can't always remember the "months" - I think that is a women thing) and the other being 4 - plus we are basically building 5 houses and a chapel - and I have always wondered how persons building just one house did it.

But fall is here - our houses - mine and Joe's (my partner in the business) should be done in about a month. Hopefully in time to enjoy raising our windows and enjoying the fall air. I love that!! It is one of my favorite things to do. Fall is going to be awesome and hopefully this spring we will open!!!

For years now I been pouring my life into full time ministry and I am finally getting to the point to where I just want to be a "normal" Christian. The church in a Western context is so blah. The consumerism drives me nuts. In the context I am in now (we are a small group of people) majority do not care and the church could close tommorrow and they would just find another church to "consume" from.

There are times when I wish I was in context of ministry where "things" were happening. But the grass is always greener on the other side. I guess.

I have not been posting lately but for the past few weeks I have had the hankering to join the conversation and get back in the blog circuit. For too long I have been voyeuring in on other conversations and it is time that I start participating.

I am hoping to begin to revamp the blog a little - changing some of the test and beginning to post some of my creative writing.

stay tuned to see what all I have in mind...

Finally finished with school for the semester... I am so excited.. and relieved
now I will have more time for my own reading... (which seminary seems to get in the way of my learning (ha!!))

More blogging on the way.

If we preach a gospel that does not involve the church - then why do we complain when people are not a part of it? If the Kingdom is not preached - then why are we offended when people do not what to particpate in the society/Kingdom of Jesus?

When are we going to see that an individualistic, comsumeristic gospel is what is killing the church in America?

The story of Scripture is something that I am going to start teaching on in the next few months. I am beginning to collect resources now for that. I would like to give an understanding of scriptures that show the continuous nature of of the story. I am buying some OT and NT survey books - but I want to write a curriculum that shows the "story" or narrative of scripture. I think that an overview such as that will make things make sense and will cause people to want to particpate in the dangerous story that is scripture.

We (Sandy and I) have signed the contract on a new house - actually the old plantation with the land. So the retreat center journey begins. It is exciting. Here is a prayer that I heard at the conference we went to - I think that it is appropriate -

Disturb us, Lord, when We are too pleased with ourselves, When our dreams have come true Because we dreamed too little, When we arrived safely Because we sailed too close to the shore.

Disturb us, Lord, when
with the abundance of things we possess
We have lost our thirst
For the waters of life;
Having fallen in love with life,
We have ceased to dream of eternity
And in our efforts to build a new earth,
We have allowed our vision
Of the new Heaven to dim.

Disturb us, Lord, to dare more boldly,
To venture on wilder seas
Where storms will show Your mastery;
Where losing sight of land,
We shall find the stars.

We ask you to push back
The horizons of our hopes;
And to push back the future
In strength, courage, hope, and love.

This we ask in the name of our Captain,
Who is Jesus Christ.

- Sir Francis Drake (1577)

+Take my poor heart, and let it be
Forever closed to all but thee;
Seal thou my breast, and let me wear
That pledge of love forever there. Amen

-Prayers of John Wesley

I have been doing school this semester and I have been taking a pretty full load. It has been challenging and stretching - but I am enjoying it.

Sandy and I have a great deal going on in our lives which has a tendency to stress us both out. But I see good things coming in the future. I am looking forward to the retreat center - but getting there can be a real pain sometimes.

Interestingly - in the Bible there are three day cycles. Jesus, - three days and then the resurrection , Jonah- three days in the fish, Esther - three days before going before the king, three days all over the place (HT Graham Cooke)

I think that as we leave the first day - which is death - and journey into the three day which is resurrection - there is hell in the middle so to speak. The 2nd day. The apostle's creed says as much:

"He descended into hell." - Apostle's creed.

So I guess that was the second day. Catholic saint St. John of the Cross called it the "dark night of the soul" - so maybe as a great deal of people I know are in this "day" maybe that is what is going on?

Michael Frost at the Mission conference that we attended discussed Missional rhythms that his community embraced. He advocated that each respective community pray about what could be some missional rhythms in their body. Here are the rhythms - they are pretty profound.

Find a Third place to infiltrate with a group of people. i.e. a pub, a cafe, PTA, club etc.

then begin to practice these things.
Blessings - bless three people a week - 1) a unbeliever 2) a believer 3) either of the first two
E- Eat - eat like crazy with people - unbelievers, believers etc.
L- Listen to the Spirit - discern - what is God saying to you?
L- Learning - he encouraged us to saturate our selves in the gospels - learning Jesus - watching him in the gospels - how he acted/what he did - what he said/ how he loved/ how he did mission - where he went.. etc.
S- Sentness - the need to engage in mission - going where Jesus would go.

we are beginning to pray and think about what our missional rhythms would be in our community. I think that several of these are good -but we need to add or adapt some of these to our context.

This weekend my friend Joe and I went to Pasadena, Calif. for a conference on the missional church and also to check out Fuller Seminary. I really had a good time. The conference itself was awesome and actually stretched Joe and I further than we had been stretched before. I hope over the next few days to post some of the notes and also to post some of my thoughts about the conference and missional thinking in general.

here are some pics of pasadena...

Unfortunately I am not picture taker. I also took some pictures at the seminary as well. I really need to learn to take more pictures. Oh those pictures are from our hotel room - you can faintly see the mountains in the background.

I know that not many if anybody reads this blog anymore - but I have decided that I am going to begin to blog again. It is my hope and prayer that this becomes a content rich site. I have many things floating around in this head of mine that I would like to convey.

+ Lord, more grace

We have opened up new place here in Vicksburg called the Living Room - as kind of a place for people to come to hang out and build relationships and get to know others. I am really excited about it - we are getting quite a few responses and it appears to be filling a real niche in the community - a place for the community that the community can use and enjoy with no strings attached.

I finished this semester out with A's - It makes me feel so good to do good in school. I know that sometimes I stress out too much about about my grades - a great deal more than I did when I was in college - but graduate school is just different.

Well not much for not blogging for a long time - but I am going to try to do it more.

I have a question that has been running around my head - how safe is it to really love someone?

I am so glad that the election is over. Now we can get on with real life.

I followed it till 3:00 AM Tuesday night - kinda threw my body out of whack - still trying to catch up with sleep.

I am not excited about the results - but I would not have been excited the other way either. Let's see what the Republicans can do with the majority that is oh - so coveted.

The truth is my salvation does not come from politics - but from Jesus - and I am learning (and it is giving me great peace) that no matter what happens God can redeem and transform events and circumstances in my life to yield fruitfulness and glory for Him. What great news - maybe that's why it is called the gospel?

I am still reading that child raising book. It is good - I hope that it will revolutionize the way I do parenting. Also today is my son's second birthday. Hard to believe I was in the hospital two years ago with the little man. He has been the biggest blessing to me. I am captured so much of the Father's heart from being a father. I understand (to a small degree) the love as well as the discipline and chastening of the Lord.

Being a father is a gift - and it is one that I pray that I embrace fully and grace-fully.

Our church purchased a building to use for missional and holistic outreach in our community and we are praying about a name to call it ( the building) - we want something that is subversively spiritual and extremely cool and catchy(is it unspiritual to be cool - it seems to be in some quarters). If anyone out there in blogdom has any ideas post a comment here. That is the great thing about the internet and blogging - I feel as though I am connected to (which I guess I am) to the wider world and also to the wider body of Christ.

I am back in town. I lied about blogging again furiously when I got back in town.. sorry.

I have started reading a book about child rearing that I heard about on World Net Daily It is a great book - hard for me because I am realizing a great deal of mistakes I have made - but everything in it definitely resonates with common sense unlike most stuff that is put out there (Dr. Spock or anything that has resulted in our degregated society)

But while I was reading I wondered this - Why is it that Christians who so often advocate the death penalty - tit for tat ... are so soft on their kids whom they proport to love? I guess that the death penalty is more those bad people out there deserve justice - but not my kid. ( don't get me wrong I am not advocating us killing our children but that we should care enough about those we love not to be so soft on them ) While reading this I am realizing why that now that I am an adult I am having to learn obedience and self-control... because I was not taught it as a child by the ones that should have taught it to me. (once again - another caveat I am not blaming everything on my parents - in reality they were not raised as well either... and I am still responsible for my own actions - I just did not learn that until I was an adult.) Clean needle parents beware - if we make excuses for our children's sin then they will too when they get older. ( Clean needle meaning - "My kids are gonna use drugs - its part of growing up - might as well give them a clean needle, or a condom, or birth control or whatever fill in blank .)

More updates from my reading.

I am gonna be out of town for a few days - going to NC to do a wedding.

I will be back and blogging with fury.

Actually that reminds me... I am moving to Vicksburgblogs... so I will have another home when I get back. Adjust all your links friends.

Well, my new blog is up and running. Hopefully with such a good-looking skin, developed by the notorious Hugo Fitch, I will blog more and begin to pontificate again.

I am finally finished with school. So this summer maybe I will have more time to blog. I am going to study Greek this summer to get ready for my semester of Greek this fall. I really want to go beyond the cursory learning of this language that most "pastor" trainees do in seminary. I want to really learn the language and master it - even after I have finished my classes - which I know two years will not even get close.

I have numerous books going now - the one that is stimulating me the most is Call to Commitment by Elizabeth O'Connor. It is the story about the Church of the Savior in Washington D.C. I know us postmodern folks don't like models or anything like that - etc. but I would love to see churches like that that do three things.
1) Make it tough to be a member - discipleship required - and not our Americanized version of a "six-week study" discipleship. All on the "altar" to use revivalism langauge.
2) A real burden and concern for the poor, the oppressed and the fringe. And not just a burden - but really doing something about it.
3) Small healthy churches planted that cultivate community around common Kingdom purposes and take serious the call to wholistic evangelism.

Oh Lord - to be apart and to have our fellowship do those three things - for that I do pray

I believe that this is what I am seeing pop up throughout the emerging church and I believe that it is a wave of the Holy Spirit to ge us back to the basics.

I have been thinking lately about my calling - per my relationship with my mentor and a book that I am reading by Bill Easum. Being called to "the" ministry - is a duh... all christians are called to ministry (notice the no "the") - as a side note I hate the term layman or laity - it sounds like the person is laying down and letting someone else do all the work ( wait maybe that's what it is supposed to mean? - hehe) But I have been asking what is the specific thing that God has in mind for me to do with my life for His glory. I know that I am to plant churches and facilitate discipleship in people's lives - but what else? and how are these to be fleshed out in my life? Times like these both scare me and excite me - scare me because my life usually changes - but excites me because my life usually changes. No longer will I be as the Israelites wandering around in the desert - but I will have a vision to gain - and once someone has a vision there is nothing that can stop them. Nothing!

Lord, I want to be in the center of what you are doing - I want to be where you are in my life and in other's lives. Please help me to triangulate my life to you and help others to do the same. Amen.

Just got back from the gym - I started back working out again aftedr not really doing it for a few years. I had already lost about 25 lbs. - but now to the gym to get what's left off and build some muscle. Believe it or not this is part of my lenten discipline - to give up "lazyness" so to speak. When it comes to exercise - I am definitely lazy. So this, along with getiing up earlier to spend more time with God is my Lenten rule - but I hope that it is a beginning to a life of the two habits and also a life of abstaining from things for periods of time.

It feels good to be sore. Earlier this week I was not saying that - but know that I am starting to get used to me routine, the soreness is welcome. Like the glass of yucky Nyquil when you feel bad. Bad but good.

There is a good discussion going on here at my brother's blog about about art and its uses. It looks like the beginning of are interesting look at art and its use for prayer and worship. Images fascinate me - I can't go anywhere without them.

I have finished the first chapter of Resurrection of the Son of God - I am enjoying it - but it is a chore to read. I usually can read about two fairly sized books a week - but this one I am having to slog on. But like a professor of mine says "Slog on brother, slog on" - and so I will.

The first chapter was basically outlining his methodology and some basic questions about the resurrection. He also called into play his dialogue partners ( I am assuming) of mostly critical/uberskeptical scholars - who it seems to me have more of a political axe to grind than to seek truth. I am going to start with the second chapter today or tommorrow ( I have some studying to for class.) In the next chapter he is going to go into the pagan views of the word "resurrection" and the afterlife - then moving on to the second temple Jewish views then into the gospels and early church. I like this strategy - seems to me (though has problems) to be important to getting a background of the worldview of the early church and how it deviated(or mutated is his word) from the second temple Judaism's views of resurrection.

I hope to gain much from this book. I am also praying as I read to discern correctly what I need to learn from this.